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OrdinationGeneralNo church would be complete without an appropriate organization. This allows any number of people to have great sounding titles, and to make out really neat business cards. (What else did you get a computer for.) By applying to be ordained by the Church of the Apathetic Agnostic, you are vouching that you accept the Articles of Faith and that you are prepared to pass the Church's teachings on to others. The link to the application form is at the bottom of this page. Ordination is real. The Patriarch of the Church is an ordained minister, and is authorized by the Church to ordain clergy into the Church. Ordination is not a joke, even though some applicants may choose to treat it less than seriously. Clergy are eligible for advanced degrees from the International University of Nescience, the educational arm of the Apathetic Agnostic Church. Ministers are eligible for a Masters Degrees. The degree application is contained in the ordination application. Degrees available are listed further down the page. There is no charge for ordination by The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic. On the other hand, there is no remuneration provided by the Church for any of these positions. ("We ain't got no money, honey" - see section on Needs.) We normally ordain applicants as Minister, Pastor, Rabbi, Priest, or Priestess. Alternate nomenclature at the equivalent level is usually acceptable (but is subject to approval) depending on the applicant's personal preferences and cultural traditions. For simplicity in this document, we will use the term minister. Role of the MinisterThe role of a minister is to help make information about the church and its teachings available to interested individuals. At minimum you should be prepared to provide a link to the home page of The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic in your own home page. Or you may create a Web Page devoted to The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic. It may be a mirror of this site or consist of your own content consistent with official Church doctrine. Alternatively you might consider an outreach program. To all those who come knocking at your door to preach their religion, to try to collect money, or to try and sell you something, you will undertake to pass on the teachings of The Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic. You can treat telemarketeers similarly. Your aim, of course, is not only to convert these poor souls, but to ensure they never, ever, try to contact you again. As an ordained minister, you may conduct appropriate traditional ceremonies, with due reverence. If your legal jurisdiction recognizes your ordination (you have to resolve this issue locally - the only support the Church can give you is to validate your credentials if asked by your local authorities), then you may conduct legal marriage ceremonies. You may conduct ceremonies of union for those wanting marriages not blessed by law. You may also conduct naming ceremonies for young children and funeral ceremonies. Such rituals are common to all societies, and shall be conducted with full seriousness and appreciation for tradition. All ordained clergy are authorized to access the Church's Clerical Resource Site for guidance in the conduct of their responsibilities. Also, clergy are provided access to the Church Bulletin Board for open discussion of issues. Access the application at the bottom of the page. Graduate Degrees for ClergyIn recognition that clergy do not arrive at a full understanding of the foundations of Apathetic Agnosticism without years of self study and analysis, and that possession of an advanced degree is powerful evidence of a minister's ability to pass on wisdom to those less knowledgeable, all clergy are eligible to apply for a Masters degree.
Those, to whom the issue is relevant, may request a Mistress degree in lieu of a Masters. Degrees will be dated as of the last convocation preceding your application; either late May or mid-December. DocumentationOrdination, and degree certificates will be fully personalized and emailed to you in Adobe Acrobat (.pdf) format and you can print them using the Adobe Acrobat Reader version 5.0 or later, available as a free download from Adobe. You may also find the Reader on installation CD-ROMs of many software products. Make sure you have at least version 5.0. (V4 and earlier will not work properly - there will be problems with the appearance.) The Church stands behind its ordinations and will respond to legitimate inquiries as to validity of individual ordinations. We reserve the right to charge you a small fee to recover any costs for this confirmation service. For those wishing Multiple Degrees: The standard policy is one degree and one ordination per member or clergy. All documents are individually created and require a fair amount of work to prepare, and they are issued free. Please don't abuse this service. Multiple Application PolicyMultiple applications will be deleted unactioned. We will not waste time advising you. This includes:
Document ReplacementThe application form is not to be used to request replacement documentation. That would result in the application being considered a multiple application and deleted. The document replacement policy is here. Ordination ApplicationTo be ordained into the Church and obtain your free degree::
An alternative ordination option is now available for those Agnostics who cannot accept the three Articles of Faith, and for those Apathetic Agnostics who, for professional reasons, would prefer a more serious sounding organization issuing their ordination. No degree is provided with the WCA ordination.
Submit only one ordination application! Submit both - and both will be ignored. If you do not receive a response in a reasonable time, please read this. |
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Revised May 2008
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